I actually stood on the Brooklyn bridge, by myself (surrounded by millions of course) and watched the lights of Manhattan turn on. How spectacularly magic and breathtaking that was.
However I should back up a little. I was suddenly given an opportunity to spend 8 days in NYC in November 2016. A friend would be out of town, and I could stay in her Brooklyn apartment, take care of her 2 cats, and explore as much as my body let me. Then we could spend a few days together when she got home. WIN!
Dan had talked it through with me, and encouraged me that even if I got there, and spent a week laying around in my pj's, watching cable tv, playing with her cats and ordering takeout, it would be a great adventure. I jumped at the opportunity, trying to cautiously dream big while keeping my options entirely open and feeling like whatever it was, it would be just what it was supposed to be.
It was so dizzying to read about what I could see and do, after a lifetime of longing to explore this magical history filled city. My budget was very little, so I was trying to focus on experiences. In fact I was reflecting on my journal to write this, and found my list of "Things I can actually do in NYC". It was a list written with a sense of awareness of my limitations while still dreaming. I had crossed off "do" and added "experience".
However by the time I left, I had really boiled it down (mentally) to a few things that I felt were entirely achievable and would leave me feeling wholly fulfilled by my journey.
Walk on the Brooklyn Bridge
Figure out the subway(bonus people watching)
Ride a tour bus around Manhattan
Get to know the Brooklyn neighborhood I was visiting. (shop there, eat there)
Spend time with my friend. (well, and her cats of course)
Many people have marveled that I was not afraid to go to NYC alone. The truth is about the exact opposite! I was excited by the opportunity to be alone with myself, with my thoughts. I wanted to prove to myself that I was capable, in spite of how fragile I feel sometimes. I wanted to have reasons to initiate conversations with strangers. I had taken on another country, with a giant city (with subways that I conquered) where I did not speak the language. I wanted to feel like that bold adventurer again. To pick up where I had left off.
There is also a fair amount of guilt wrapped up in days I can't function very well, lost to pain or fatigue. I am the wildcard who will probably flake on those evening plans, or even plans at all. I am not always dependable, not always ready to go explore. That long walk you wanted to take, well cut it in half and maybe I could do it. Having the luxury, the wonderful guiltless extravagance, of just doing what I want, when I want, without anyone else being disappointed, was so luxurious. Guilt free, self centered care centered adventuring. In NYC even!
I will do a blog post at a later date about my travel journal system, which is pretty much "Stick up ephemera you want to save and jot a few thoughts" and BAM! You have a lovely way to remember your trip, day by day. Not intimidating, not overly fussy, and just such a handy way to make it easy in the moment.
Stay tuned to read more about the trip!
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